


Who Needs Kirchhoff, Anyway?

by gokulex59 (orphan_account)



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Brother Complex, Character Study, Other, Post-Canon, accidentally fluff, drabble without plot, i dub thee: the science skelebros au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-28 00:22:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6306292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/gokulex59
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sans has trouble using time efficiently. Scratch that, he has trouble using time.</p><p>He ends up discussing a new recipe with Papyrus, instead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who Needs Kirchhoff, Anyway?

**Author's Note:**

> This is more of a character study. It really doesn't have a plot. (Except it accidentally got fluffy.)
> 
> I want to improve my writing and characterization, as well as I want to ease into the AUs I've come up with, and this AU seemed to be the easiest for this purpose, since I can write plot-less drabbles on it, like this one.
> 
> For that reason above, any criticism, advice and/or "maybe try this...?" (basically constructive) comments are greatly appreciated.

Papyrus’ schedule is hectic.

It’s so fixed and yet so flexible. Within the same day, he can make sure he works out, studies, attends to all his classes, makes it to his tutoring sessions, all the while being ready to make room for some new activity or an impromptu plan. He even makes his bed! Incredible.

Sans is not jealous. The statement not even sarcastic – hell, he hates sarcasm. Envious, though? Check. He is aware that he wouldn’t be able to manage his life as efficiently even if he tried, his brother is just that amazing, but at least being a little bit _better_ than this would be… real fucking “conductive”.

Heh, get it? Because he’s working on a lab report for an experiment in electromagnetism, and it would be _conducive_ if he were to miraculously get better at time management, and that is kinda spelled like-

Okay, that was a long shot. Waaay too long for a good pun. Can’t blame him. It is way past midnight, and time actually matters when you got a class schedule to accommodate. He should be sleeping. He _would_ be sleeping.

Sans hears his phone vibrating with a new text from Papyrus just as soon as he hears his brother exiting the elevator down the hall. Papyrus is greeting everyone he sees on his way to their room, and they should be getting a complaint especially with how often this occurs, but Papyrus has this charm that gets every frowny neighbor softening. Actually, with how loud Papyrus always is, Sans wouldn’t be surprised if even the lightest sleepers on the floor adjusted to Papyrus’ voice at this point.

He doesn’t look at the latest text in order to type “you could have told me that five seconds later in the room, ya kno” as quickly as possible.

The reply “I CAN DO BOTH!” comes in the format of both text and Papyrus’ voice booming through the door, just before the door to their dorm beeps with Papyrus’ swiping his key card and his brother barges in. “DID YOU KNOW THAT ‘PASTA’ IS THE WORD FOR ‘CAKE’ IN SOME LANGUAGES? WHAT IF I MADE A – A PASTA-CAKE! A SPAGHETTI-CAKE! SPAGHETTI IN THE SHAPE OF CAKE…?”

His brother’s never-ending enthusiasm is good at perking some small part in Sans. “isn’t that like… lasagna?”

“NO! LASAGNA IS LASAGNA AND A SPAGHETTI CAKE IS… SPAGHETTI CAKE! NOT ACTUALLY CAKE THOUGH, SINCE, YOU KNOW, THAT WOULD BE ICKY, SPAGHETTI ISN’T SWEET. NO, THIS IS SPAGHETTI WITH LOTS OF TOMATO AND CREAM AND SOME MEATBALLS WITH CHEESE ON TOP-”

“so… lasagna?”

“NO- YES- I MEAN- HM.” Papyrus contemplates for about 0.01 seconds. “WHAT IF I DID MAKE IT SWEET?”

“please don’t.” ‘ _Kirchhoff’s laws state that…’_

“NAH, YOU ARE RIGHT. I MUST NOT DISRESPECT SPAGHETTI’S INTEGRITY BY ADDING IMPROPER INGREDIENTS! BUT THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LASAGNA AND SPAGHETTI-CAKE AND I SHALL PROVE IT! BY! BAKING IT! RIGHT!” Misplaced dramatic pause. “NOW!!!” And a short one at that, too.

“baking? or cooking?” Sans slams backspace. How the hell he is supposed paraphrase Kirchhoff’s Laws briefly enough without making it sound the same as the statement in the laboratory manual? Why even do undergrad physics labs care about plagiarism so much?

“BAKING, OF COURSE! IT IS CAKE! YOU COOK LASAGNA BUT YOU BAKE SPAGHETTI-CAKE! NYEH-HEH! FOR THAT IT’S ALSO ANOTHER DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LASAGNA AND SPHAGETTI-CAKE!”

“bro, it’s one in the morning. don’t you have class tomorrow?” Hm. “or… today, i guess.” Wait- _do_ undergrad physics labs care about plagiarism that much?

“AT TEN! WHICH LEAVES ME FREE UNTIL FOUR TO SLEEP!” Right. Papyrus’ schedule is hectic but ridiculously inconsistent. He makes sure he gets exactly five hours of sleep, but never in a specific time interval. Because of this, they also had to make a small adjustment as to when Sans would read Papyrus’ bedtime story. If Sans would or would have to go to sleep at night earlier than Papyrus, he would just read the story before he went to bed instead of waiting for his brother to declare his own bedtime for the day. Sans doesn’t think this would be efficient, it is removing “bed-time” from “bed-time story” after all, but Papyrus came up with the idea and assured him that it was okay and “BETTER THAN NO STORIES AT ALL”. So Sans just goes with it, like he always does when Papyrus is involved and, naturally in their relationship, taking lead.

“but won’t we have to eat it cold, then?” Nah, they probably are not as sensitive about it as humanities or administrative sciences. “well, i guess not if you plan us to eat at like three am…”

“OF COURSE NOT! WE MUST KEEP A HEALTHY EATING CYCLE, BROTHER! THUS, YOU BRING UP A GOOD POINT… I SHALL SPEND THE REMAINDER OF THE NIGHT PERFECTING A RECIPE OVER MY MARVELOUS IDEA!” Papyrus puffs out his chest through his speech, before quickly pulling the chair beside his desk, turning on his computer - courtesy of Alphys, she customized two computers for the brothers as a gift upon their decision to study in university. She’d claimed that they’d need personal computers, and even though she had graduated in the underground years ago, her claim turned out to be very accurate for the universities on the surface, too.

Heh. She had been so excited that Papyrus has decided to major mathematics, squealing about how since she’s an engineer, they could be “the science squad”. Sans’ studying physics was no surprise, as he has always been interested in quantum physics and never really seen a reason to hide it, the only obstacle before him being his lack of passion to go through university without motivation. However, Papyrus’ skill and interest in mathematics was not as expected. Sans still doesn’t quite know what circumstances had inspired Papyrus to pick up a book related to mathematics and stay focused enough much to see it as a huge puzzle he should be trying to solve. “IT’S LIKE AN ENDLESS CHAIN OF PUZZLES, SANS!” He had explained, minutes after barging through their door and complaining about how no one talked about mathematics like this book did, were they trying to keep mathematics to themselves, how could his ever-so-deliberate eyes could be fooled for so long, Sans, this book actually makes a lot of sense?

“how was your night, bro?” Sans asks to keep Papyrus talking, because silence when Papyrus is present feels wrong – hell, he would say silence feels wrong when it’s longer than he needs, and Papyrus is definitely his favorite distorter. Maybe he has developed a _bronether_ complex- No, okay, this is an even longer shot. He needs sleep.

“FRISK TOOK US TO AN ITALIAN RESTAURANT! THEY HAD PASTA- TORTELLINI, ACTUALLY- WITH PUMPKIN! IT WAS ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD! MAYBE I CAN PUT PUMPKIN IN MY CAKE? NO, I CAN’T RIP OFF AN IDEA JUST LIKE THAT! BUT FRUIT WOULD ACTUALLY BE A GOOD IDEA-”

“pineapple?” Sans offers, hitting enter one last time before deeming the _Theory_ part completed.

“THAT’S A BRILLIANT IDEA, SANS! IT’S NOT TOO SWEET, BUT IT IS SWEET, BUT IT DOESN’T SMELL TOO SWEET AND GOES WITH CHEESE! AND, IN FACT… YES, I SHALL USE CHEESE! BUT MY CAKE IS NOT GOING TO BE LASAGNA!  WHAT IF I USED DIFFERENT CHEESE TOGETHER…?”

“now it’s like pizza.”

“SAAAAAANS, IT IS NOT PIZZA EITHER. IT IS SPAGHETTI CAKE. THOUGH MAYBE I CAN ALSO MAKE A SPAGHETTI-PIZZA! NYEH-HEH! TWO BRILLIANT IDEAS IN TWO HOURS! THE GREAT PAPYRUS OUTDOES HIMSELF AGAIN!”

“tea-riffic, bro.” Shit, there is nothing even barely related to tea. He wants to sleep.

“SANS, THAT DIDN’T EVEN MAKE SENSE! BUT WHAT IF I ADDED SOME TEA LEAVES ON IT? LIKE BASIL, BUT A LOT MORE CREATIVE AND COLORFUL.”

“it’s basically science, bro. can’t decide before you try.” Sans rubs on his eye socket as he leans on one elbow. “hmmm… jasmine, or vanilla?” He suggests. He likes vanilla. He is glad Asgore has introduced him to vanilla scented tea.

“GOOD IDEA, ACTUALLY. AGAIN. YOU ARE ON FIRE TODAY, SANS. FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING, OF COURSE.”

“oh?” Sans’ permanent grin feels stretched as he fully turns his chair toward his brother, his one eye flaming with magic. “i have several concerns regarding to that.”

“SANS, YOU ONLY GET WORSE WITH EXPERIENCE.”

“heh.” Giving up entirely on the reports, he saves and shuts the computer. It’s barely worth a few points at the end of the semester after all, it is just that he has been trying not to risk his lab grade. Oh well. He can just make sure that he turns in rest of the reports throughout the semester. The only shame in this turn of events is that Sans couldn’t join Papyrus and Frisk in their night-out. He can’t really hang out with his brother much outside of their mutual classes and lunch hours, if not for these night-outs. He has to admit he lowkey has missed going out with Frisk, too. There are few people who inspires and reciprocates his jokes as uniquely as the kid.

Not-so-kid now, but eh.

“hey bro? you think you got time tomorrow for us to go over some linear algebra? i think my _ranks_ are completely _nullified_ after last week’s class.”

“SANS! KEEP YOUR TRY-HARD PUNS AWAY FROM ALGEBRA!” Papyrus sighs, rubbing his non-existent skin on his temple, but he’s suppressing a grin and that’s enough for Sans to lighten up even more. “AND OF COURSE I DO. I LOVE MOTIVATING MY FAVOURITE BROTHER ABOUT MY NOT-SO-FAVORITE-BUT-DEFINITELY-ENJOYABLE SUBJECT IN MATH!”

“i am your only brother.”

“WHICH FURTHER TIGHTENS THE FACT THAT YOU ARE MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE.”

Sans’ grin stretches further because he is a sucker for his brother’s sudden declarations of affection. He takes two steps before he drops himself on Papyrus’ bed, settling in under the covers, not minding that the lights are still on. He doesn’t have many requirements to sleep, actually. He doesn’t even need a flat surface.

“SAAAANS. SLEEP ON YOUR OWN BED.”

“too far, bro.” Sans lazily points a finger toward the end of the room, where his bed is located across the door. “can’t make it.”

“SAAAANS.”

“we can fit in here. or you can sleep on my bed. i don’t mind.” He grins, closing his eyes.

“YOU ARE THE ONE TAKING MY BED HOSTAGE!” Not that it’s for the first time. Or last. It’s not even rare, actually. “UGH, FINE. YOU ARE STILL GONNA READ ME A STORY, THOUGH, RIGHT?”

“no doubts on it.” Sliding to the side of the bed, Sans pats the open spot next to him. “any preference?”

“SOMETHING NEW. BUT WITH SLEEPY CHARACTERS. I SUPPOSE I COULD SLEEP NOW AND DO A JOG IN THE MORNING.” Not bothering to turn off the computer, his brother heads for his wardrobe to change into his bed clothing. “SANS, AT LEAST CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES. YOU’VE BEEN IN THEM FOR TOO LONG.”

“nah. i am warm and cozy.” Grinning, he tugs on the covers for emphasis. “not gonna move.”

Another groan. “FINE. BUT DON’T FORGET TO CHANGE BEFORE GOING TO CLASS, YOU LAZY SKELETON.” Papyrus sighs, now in a shirt that’s so small it functions as a crop top on him, and basketball shorts. Hopping on the empty side of the bed, he continues. “YOUR LAZINESS MULTIPLIES AT THE END OF EACH MONTH. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITHOUT SUCH A COOL AND MOTIVATING BROTHER AS I AM REMINDING YOU TO GET OUT OF BED.”

“eh. not much, _tibia_ honest.” He sure as hell wouldn’t bother studying in physics if not for Papyrus’ motivation.

“ **SANS THAT PUN IS AS OLD AS I AM AT LEAST COME UP WITH SOMETHING NEW HOLY FUCK** ” Papyrus fumes, eyes comically wide. Sans is instantly sent into a giggling fit. “DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER HOW TO JUST SIMPLY SAY ‘TO BE’?”

“hehehehehe. no need to be so _sternum_ about it.”

”UGH, SANS. YOUR OVERUSED BONE PUNS ARE GOING TO GET ME _VOMER.”_

The brothers stare at each other for a few seconds, before snorting and giving into laughter. “that was _femur_ worse than mine, bro,” Sans manages between his very amused chuckles.

“I THINK IT’S _RIB_ ICULOUS IF YOU THINK YOU _TALUS_ BETTER JOKES THAN THAT, BROTHER.”

Papyrus is clutching Sans’ ribs, who is practically wheezing at this point. “i believe… i think my jokes are rather rad _ius,_ bro.”

“SAAAAANS, FOR THE SAKE OF EVERYTHING _SACRUM-_ ” Papyrus can’t continue, completely lost in their escalating laugher, his head is shaking on his brother’s chest.

They are both equally awful and they know it. They love it, even though Papyrus claims otherwise when it feels too much.

They eventually still, laughter and giggles reduced to uneven breaths and occasional chuckles. Papyrus sighs and stretches upwards from his position, embracing his brother and resting his chin on top of Sans’ skull. “YOUR JOKES ARE THE WORST BUT YOU ARE THE BEST,” he states, suddenly but sincerely.

Well, sudden but sincere encouragements are Sans’ weakness, especially the ones from Papyrus. They feel like a punch to the face, except they actually feel good. And after minutes of laughing unnecessarily hard, it’s safe to say that Papyrus has unknowingly turned Sans into an emotional pile of goo. Only figuratively though, thankfully. “nah, bro. pretty sure you get the cake at being the best.”

“CORRECT. BUT YOU ARE EASILY THE SECOND BEST.”

Sans tightens his arms around his brother as a response, sighing happily and closing his eyes. He really is a sucker for his brother’s encouragement. “thanks, bro,” he mumbles, getting comfortable, and dozing off as a result.

“NYEH-HEH-HEH,” Papyrus lets out his exaggerated laughter, but Sans can tell it’s sincerely happy. It’s not that hard, Papyrus is never not sincere, even when he tries to be. “IN FACT, THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS A GREAT IDEA. TONIGHT, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, I SHALL READ YOU A BEDTIME STORY!”

Sans chuckles in response. “sure, bro,” he affirms drowsily.

With some wiggling, Papyrus manages to take Sans’ phone, unlocking the screen so that the browser is on with the story Sans has found. Unlike Sans, who usually reads the whole thing with a monotone voice (he has no idea how in the hell Papyrus enjoys his narration), Papyrus exaggerates the dramatic experience, his voice going up and down, high and low, and occasionally takes on an unnecessary accent. Even his chest jerks time to time with excitement, even though it’s just a fable with sleepy bunnies, and his arm on Sans’ back moves with his expressions.

It should be uncomfortable, but it’s soothing to Sans, whose consciousness is slowly fading away. He wiggles a bit to get into a more comfortable position but he makes sure he’s still stuck to his brother, and without a pause in his narration, Papyrus loosens his arms a bit to let him. After making sure Sans is comfortable, he holds his brother again, just tight enough not to be suffocating, and repeats the previous part of the dialogue just in case Sans has missed it during the process.

Papyrus’ schedule is hectic, but it’s still Sans who falls asleep first.

**Author's Note:**

> I had prompted myself "what happens if brothers were to discuss a recipe together" for this fic, hence that is what is going on in this fic.
> 
> (*for anyone who doesn't know, Sans' algebra pun refers to Rank-Nullify Theorem in linear algebra.)
> 
> My biggest kink is skelebros laughing together at their shitty jokes.
> 
> My headcanon is that Papyrus could be good at math. Not not-really-math thing you learn at high school though. Actual math. He thinks so out of the box and loves puzzles so much, he'd enjoy spending time with actual math problems - not science though. Maybe he doesn't hate learning about cool science stuff but that's it: cool science stuff. He ain't wasting those integrals on no superpositions.
> 
> The other half of this headcanon is that Sans is, in contrast, bad at math. Then he goes and picks physics as a major, which is 60% math. He is good at picking up what he needs in his studies, but having to pass all abstract math courses in his curriculum as a whole (with all proving and showing stuff) is not something he really enjoys. (So, he is better than average as a default, but you need that to study physics. In this AU, he actually thought he was good at math until he came to university, because that was the case with me and I like projecting my shit onto the characters.)
> 
> Then I kept imagining little scenes with them studying in these majors in a university on the surface (with human and monster students attending uni in peace).
> 
> Thus science skelebros idea was born. 
> 
> (and it goes with the halves-of-a-whole headcanon which I am rather fond of, but you ain't getting no theories or even mentions regarding or including gaster here)


End file.
